banana pudding snack packs are my new best friends. i abhore valentine's day. not because i'm lonely. i have someone. someone fantastic who baught me chocolate covered cherries and took me to my favorite restaurant last night. i hate it because i never feel like i deserve these thing. i'm sorry but if i'm not good enough for you to buy me flowers on some random normal day why the hell should you do it just because it's valentine's day? i never get anyone anything. and i always tell them not to get me anything. but they always do! then i feel like a fuckin mook because i don't have anything for them. we made a deal to just go out to dinner from now on instead of getting presents but that's still too much for me. i just sat there while he watched the tv behind my head and felt like this was meant for someone else. i'll never be happy because nothing is ever good enough. well, at least the food was yummy.

also, i just realised that the other day when i saw josh and we were playing catch up i didn't tell him about my surgery. i told him every stupid thing i could think of except for the one thing that was cool. a cyst the size of a softball man! that's just gross. he'll appreciate it. that's why i love him.

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before - random - after