me: i think i have woodchips in my underwear.

(everyone staring at me)

me: what? we have gerbils.

(everyone still staring at me)

david: honey, that doesn't make it sound any better. our friends are freaks.

me: what? their cage is on top of my dresser and sometimes the woodchips fall down in my underwear drawer.

erik: uh-huh.

me: what? it's true.

erik: you keep telling people that.

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before - random - after